Happy New Year, Your Horoscope for 2022 Is Here

Reading celestial predictions at the start of the year always feels more momentous somehow; new year, clean slate, another shot at being our best selves, and all that. Are you looking to the stars for some wisdom or searching for some escapism given that the world is in peril? Never mind, don’t answer that. As novices who love reading our horoscopes but have no idea what any of the planetary alignments mean, our team turned to the predictions that celebrity astrologer Aliza Kelly prepared for the Lovehoney group for some much-needed guidance. We did the honors of summarizing the main juice, which focuses on self-love, sex, and dating.

Aries

Aries, the first sign of the zodiac, is known to be passionate, enthusiastic, and impulsive. A thrill-seeking fire sign, you are always striving to be The Best. On May 10, Jupiter — the planet of luck and fortune — will enter Aries for the first time since 2011, enabling you to expand your reach. It marks a fabulous period for you to maximize pleasure in virtually every aspect of your life. Having Jupiter in your own zodiac sign is extremely auspicious and will kick off a brand new 12-year cycle that is defined by growth, opportunity, and extraordinary serendipity.

So as we ramp up for next year, this is an excellent time to begin setting long-term goals relating to your hopes, dreams, and aspirations. Once Jupiter leaves Aries in 2023, it won’t be back until 2034 (!!!), so don’t let this opportunity pass you by. Seize the moment! What’s more, when it comes to matters of the heart (and libido), don’t be surprised if you’re suddenly inspired to experiment.

Taurus

In 2022, you will be experiencing lots of powerful transformation thanks to the eclipses that will move into the Taurus-Scorpio axis on four occasions (April 30, May 16, October 25, November 8). Eclipses are linked to destiny and the last time they occupied your zodiac sign was in 2012, so it’s been about a decade since you’ve connected to the concept of fate in this capacity. Change is a beautiful thing but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s easy… especially for steadfast Taurus who deeply values consistency and continuity.

The best way to ride out this monumental year is to connect with your celestial ruler, Venus, the planet of love and beauty. Known to be the most sensual sign of the zodiac, Tauruses are seductive, earthy warriors who enjoy tactile experiences that stimulate the senses like touch, sound, taste, and sight. Nothing is more grounding than physicality, so you desire truly luxurious experiences in that sense. Lighting soft candles, running an oil-filled bath, or caressing deliciously scented moisturizer/lubricant are ways to relax and unwind.

Gemini

Hi, Gem! Can I call you Gem? Mercury, your planetary ruler will go retrograde on four occasions in 2022 (January 14, May 10, September 9, and December 29), which is the maximum number of times the planet of communication can spin backwards in a calendar year. Each Mercury retrograde cycle lasts for approximately three weeks so you should go above and beyond to make sure you’re not missing any important details during this period, as misunderstandings are often the primary calamity during Mercury’s reversal. Even more notably, Mars will also go retrograde in 2022 — a backward motion that will begin October 30 and continue until January 12, 2023. Mars has the rarest backward cycle; this red planet only reverses every two years, so it’s especially notable that this motion happens to take place in your own zodiac sign. This hasn’t happened since the year 2008 (!!!), so it’s been a long time coming.

The best way to prepare? Tap into your innate verbosity! Being an air sign that is renowned for its clever nature, you are aroused by sexy banter, witticisms, and lots of experimentation. In the year ahead, try incorporating erotic games into your foreplay. Whether you’re playing strip poker or something more elaborate, linking pleasure and play is the perfect fit for you, you mischievous pixie.

Cancer

Throughout next year, Jupiter — the planet of expansion and fortune — will be cruising through Pisces, a like-minded water sign, illuminating the area of your chart associated with travel, adventure, and exciting opportunities. Interestingly, Neptune — the modern ruler of Pisces — is also in Pisces. And for the first time since the mid-1800s (!!!), Jupiter and Neptune will be joining forces in Pisces on April 8, 2022. This is major, Cancer darling, and marks the beginning of new explorations in virtually every aspect of your life, so be sure to note this on your calendar! Although this celestial milestone will only last a single day, the impact will be felt for many weeks both before (in the build-up) and after (during the dissemination).

Likewise, this is an excellent time to tap into your innate passions and desires. While you tend to safeguard your emotions in daily life, your biggest thrill is letting loose. When you finally feel comfortable removing your armor, you expose your raw truths and pleasure, which is much kinkier than meets the eye. To work up to that level of intimacy, however, you need to build trust through physical closeness. Be it cuddling, spooning, or hand-holding, consciously take small steps to feel more connected to your lover.

Leo

Ah, our zodiac royalty: the regal lion. Leos are known for their larger-than-life personalities, unabashed creativity, and their propensity to perform. 2020 and 2021 were major for these celestial lions, who have been making profound changes in all aspects of life to accommodate new opportunities. By the time Saturn leaves Aquarius in 2023, all Leos will have experienced this radical transformation. It takes Saturn 29 years to complete an orbit, so the changes catalyzed by this ringed-gas giant are truly built to last.

Embrace your personal main character energy — as the star of every show, you’re all about that life anyway! As a theatrical fire sign who loves to entertain an audience, the biggest turn-on for any Leo is feeling wanted. With so many changes taking place, this is about finding your moment in the spotlight — don’t be afraid to shine!

Virgo

One of the most powerful astrological signatures of next year is Jupiter, the planet of luck and fortune, moving through Pisces. Jupiter expands whatever it touches and as it cruises across Pisces’ domain (Virgo’s opposite sign), it will magnify the area of Virgo’s chart associated with alliances, partnerships, and serious commitments. Most notably, on April 12, Jupiter will join forces with dreamy Neptune, sending shock waves through this chart and unlocking unexpected fantasies! 

Is there something you desire that you’ve been a bit too shy to act on? This is the time to do it! Both before and after this monumental day, you’ll feel inspired to prioritize your pleasure. The truth is, Virgo dear, that you’re a creature of habit. If you’re craving a certain level of intimacy, that shouldn’t be something you experience once in a Blue Moon, but rather, a practice that is embedded into your routine. 

Libra

Represented by the scales, Libra strives for harmony in all relationships. Likewise, when it comes to matters of the bedroom, this elegant air sign appreciates dynamics that are fair, balanced, and inherently reciprocal. Ruled by Venus (the planet of love and beauty), Libras aspire to treat their partners like works of art by adoring their minds, bodies, and souls. 

Fortunately, this year will surely revolutionize your relationships. On May 10, Jupiter — the planet of abundance — will enter Aries (Libra’s opposite sign) for the first time since 2011, activating the area of your chart associated with serious, committed relationships. Although Jupiter will cruise back into Pisces briefly towards the end of the year (between October 28 and December 20), this lucky planet will enable you to connect with others in new and extremely meaningful ways.

Scorpio

Scorpios aren’t afraid to push boundaries and, fortunately, in 2022, there will be lots of opportunities to challenge the status quo. In November 2021, the eclipses will shift into the Taurus-Scorpio domain and, likewise, all 2022 eclipses will be on your axis. These eclipses (which will take place in 2022 on April 30, May 16, October 25, and November 8) will invite growth relating to self and others, inviting you to transform the ways in which you relate to the world.

Jupiter — the planet of luck and fortune — will be moving through Pisces, a like-minded water sign, throughout 2022, activating the area of your chart associated with love, romance, and creativity.  What does that mean? You can most certainly look forward to lots of crushes, trysts, and butterflies in your stomach in the year ahead! Suffice it to say, sweet Scorpling, many wonderful adventures await.

Sagittarius 

Adventurous Sagittarians are known for their fun-loving, thrill-seeking spirit. Symbolized by the archer, this fire sign is tantalized by new experiences… including those in the bedroom. Philosophical in nature, you view intimacy as an opportunity for discovery and exploration, so you tend to be quite playful in the sack. The most important astrological happening for you is perhaps the one that occurs on May 10, when Jupiter — the planet of luck and fortune that also happens to be your celestial ruler — enters Aries, a like-minded fire sign. Although Jupiter will briefly re-enter Pisces at the end of 2022, its motion through Aries will activate a new era of life, defined by exploration, expansion, and growth.

Sounds familiar? These are your favorite things, Sagittarius! Don’t be surprised if you end up connecting with a long-distant lover who ends up taking you halfway around the world. While other signs might be reluctant to get involved with someone so far away, you couldn’t be happier!

Capricorn

Hey, work-horse/sea-goat! In 2022, Saturn — the planet of rules, responsibilities, and commitment that just so happens to be your celestial ruler — will continue its slow journey through Aquarius, your neighboring sign. For you, motion through this domain activates the area of your chart associated with values, including money, finances, and personal assets. Fundamentally, the year ahead is about aligning your bank account with your priorities. Remember, the most valuable resource is your time, so make sure you’re spending it on the experiences you truly want. In other words, if your entire day is eaten up by exhausting, draining obligations, maybe it’s time to infuse your schedule with a bit more… pleasure? 

Much like your long-term goals, you approach sex with dedication, tenacity, and sensual intensity. When it comes to matters of the libido, a Capricorn partner is deeply erotic and takes much pride in their ability to both give and receive. Interestingly, there’s a hint of competitiveness when it comes to Capricorns’ sexuality and thus, achieving intimacy can become a bit of an obsession for you.

Aquarius 

Aquarius, you’re totally out of this world! No, like, really! As the last air sign of the zodiac, you’re an innovative visionary who’s always a few years ahead of the curve. Known for your non-conformist spirit, it’s no surprise that you tend to be a bit… cerebral when it comes to intimacy. Sometimes fantasizing about sex is even better than actually having it, and that’s totally fine! At the very end of 2020, Saturn — the planet of commitment and responsibilities — moved into your zodiac sign, where it will remain until 2023. So what does that mean for you?  Basically, Aquarius darling, you’re finding confidence like never before. Rather than focusing on making other people happy, you’re prioritizing your wants, needs, and expectations and, subsequently, connecting with people who actually support your spirit.

This is a big deal; Saturn won’t be back in your zodiac sign for another 29-years (!!!), so the changes you’re instituting now are going to define this next chapter of your life. Perhaps you’ll link up with a totally unexpected partner? Or maybe you’ll trade the monogamous relationship structure for a more open dynamic? Or perhaps you’ll double-down on personal pleasure, prioritizing your independence, freedom, and exploration without external obligations? However you choose to celebrate desire, make sure it honestly (and accurately) reflects your innate spirit.

Pisces

In 2022, Jupiter will finish what it started. For you, sunfish, this means you’ll be starting a new 12-year cycle relating to identity and opportunity. The world is truly your oyster! This is about connecting with your truth, inviting yourself to dig deeper, setting intentions that align with your core values. Whether you’re embracing your independence or making serious commitments, 2022 is guaranteed to be a year you remember forever. 

Of course, this means you’ll be in your feels. But wait, don’t stress. You’re the most psychic, empathetic sign of the zodiac, so having big emotions isn’t necessarily a bad thing! You will, however, need to find outlets to process these internal experiences, which is all the more reason to tap into your raw sexual power. Dive headfirst into sensuality and experiment with synchronizing your extrasensory abilities with your physical desires.

Feature collage by Sherryl Cheong

Team Wildchild

Go, team, go! The byline for articles that involved several Wildchild team members.

5 thoughts on “Happy New Year, Your Horoscope for 2022 Is Here

    1. Happy new year to you too, Tiffany! Glad you liked it and we hope it was entertaining to read :’)

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